[:zh]「教繩縛就如同教烹飪」[:en]Teaching Shibari is Like Teaching Cooking[:ja]Teaching Shibari is Like Teaching Cooking[:]

[:zh]在羅馬短暫停留的最後一晚，我到朋友 Stefano 的 SM/情趣用品店 Alcova 拜訪他。Alcova 並不在羅馬僅有的兩條十字型地鐵站附近，我又查不到公車資訊，索性靠 Google 地圖當指引徒步 3.8 公里，一路欣賞羅馬的街道與廣場。

我與 Stefano 在上次經過羅馬時認識。他在羅馬辦繩縛活動與教學。今晚他一個人看店，我到時發現他的雙眼泛著血絲。原來他已感冒了幾天，才剛退燒，但仍守著和我見面的約定。打烊後，他帶我去附近的酒吧 Fluid — 店如其名，地板與桌上都灌了液體，打了光，腳一踩就會改變花樣。

「我覺得大家好像在比賽一樣的，搶著去作越來越危險的事。」他說。「我們在做壞榜樣。大家看到照片，說好美好漂亮，但他們看不到這事前需要多少準備。看起來很容易，於是他們想，那我也試試看吧。意外就是這麼發生的。」這樣的疑慮出自他口中並不意外：他是為了推廣安全觀念在他的店裡免費贈送安全剪的人。

他的繩縛課每週舉辦，於是我問了關於上課的問題。
「教繩縛像教做菜：教完基本的東西後，我只能告訴你怎樣做多半是錯的，比如說，咖啡加鹽恐怕不是好主意。但應該怎麼做才好？只有你，和吃你做的菜的那個人有資格評分。很多人以為學繩縛就得學這個結、那個結，其實不是這樣。放輕鬆，找出你們兩個想要用繩做什麼。」
「就像寫詩給情人。你要想的不是那支筆，而是那首詩。」
「繩縛有很多面相。有些適合你，有些不適合你。一堂課就像沙拉吧，你可以選你要的。」

「抱歉，說到這個我就變得很激動。」他說。

今晚的長途跋涉很值得。欣賞了沿途的風景，在 Alcova 買到了便宜的鉤環，學到了很多。[:en]The last night of my short stop in Rome, I would like to visit my friend Stefano in his SM/adult shop Alcova. The shop is not close to any station of the two only Metro lines in Rome, and I could not find any bus information. Thus I decided to walk to the shop, following a 3.8 km route suggested by Google map, and see a bit of Rome on the way.

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I met Stefano when I visited Rome at about the same time last year. He is one of the most active rope person in Rome, and organises regular activities and courses. When I arrived I found him alone in the shop, with his eyes turning very red. He had recently had a flu and has not full recovered. Still, he kept his promise meeting me. He suggested that we go to Fluid, a bar near by. As the name suggests, the floors and tables are filled with coloured fluid that changes pattern when stepped on. We took some food from the salad bar, and ordered some drink.

“We are being bad examples,” said Stefano. He is concerned that there has been a competition to shoot photos with risky actions, and we have made shibari look too easy, that people would start trying before knowing how much preparation and practice need to be done, and how lucky we have been for not running into an accident. It is not surprising that he would say so — he has always been concerned about safety, to the point that he gives away free safety shears in his shop. I got one of them and still bring it with me wherever I tie.

On his shibari course, he said, “teaching shibari is like teaching one to cook. I can tell you what is wrong, for example, adding salt to coffee is almost certainly a bad idea. As for what is right, however, you and the person you cook for have the final words.” “Too many people think that learning (and teaching) shibari is about learning this knot and that friction. I tell them to sit back, relax, and find out what they want to do with ropes.”

“Like writing to your lover. You think not about the pen, but the poem.”

“There are so many aspects of shibari. Certain things are not for everyone. A course is like this salad bar. The student is presented many options, and pick what they want.”

“Sorry,” still in fever, he said, “when I talk about these, I get very passionate.”

In one evening, I’ve seen some lovely Roman streets, bought some nice Italian carabiner, and learned a lot. It was worth the walk.[:ja][:]