[:zh]繩霧給樂嶼, File.03[:en]Nawakiri Gallery, File.03[:ja]Nawakiri Gallery, File.03[:]

It was 2003. Akaneko and I just moved to Tokyo and definitely wanted to see the legendary Japanese SM bar. After filtering by distance and price, the choices narrowed down to two SM bars in Ikebukuro. One of them would hold a birthday party for the bar owner that weekend. “Let’s try this one, then!” That was how we went to Succubus, the bar ran by Kanna.

We didn’t expect to become regular customers, to meet some of my best friends Japan. Neither did we expect to invite Kanna to Taiwan and did plenty of amazing things. Those were the years when there was a boom in SM bars in Japan. We didn’t expect that these bars would enter severe competition and would eventually close one after another until only a few were left. Didn’t expect to feel so lost when Succubus eventually had to close.

2003 年，剛搬到東京的我們自然想見識一下傳說中的日本 SM 酒吧. 以不太遠、不太貴等等標準一一篩選，最後從池袋的兩家中二選一。其中一家剛好將在週末辦店長的生日派對，「那就這家吧！」就這樣，我們去了神凪的 Succubus。

那天晚上，我們沒想到會成為固定顧客，會在成人酒吧認識在日本唯一一群能交心的朋友。沒想到會把神凪邀來台灣，做了不少轟轟烈烈的事。那幾年是日本 SM 酒吧的全盛期。我們沒想到後來將看到每間店倒的倒，關的關，沒想到這個酒吧終究得關門時大家會這樣地痛惜。

That night, I didn’t expect I would start practicing shibari there, and face challenges one by one. After lost of frustration there would be a little progress. Then more frustration. One evening when we were walking back home from the metro station, she said “Let us practice more from now on.”

Like a magic spell. From now on, “we” will practice together.

* * *

Fast forward to 2010. Taipei, photo session with Franco. “This will be the last time, okay?” said Akaneko before the photo session.

Some floor work, standing, lifting the thigh, and finally to the tsuri…

I pulled her thighs higher, hoping to do another pose. But it appears that Akaneko was close to her limit.

Franco caught many precious moments. It was a wonderful photo session.

After seeing Franco off, I embraced Akaneko, thank her for so much she has given me, all these years.

Also published onBDSM.TW。

那天晚上，我沒想到將會在那兒學繩縛，開始一連串的磨練。許多挫折後，有一點小進步，接著又是更多挫折。一天深夜，從車站徒步回家的路上，她說：「以後我們多練習吧。」

像是一句開門密語：以後，「我們」要一起多練習了。

後來我們也去了傳奇的繩縛修煉所「喜多川沙龍」。從下午到深夜，我們常是練習得最勤的一組。八九個小時常在綁、吊、再綁、再吊中度過。連喜多川都驚訝著，「你們不用休息一下嗎？」

在日本三年，在 Succubus 三年。我們試探著彼此的底線，終於也有一天，她自承對繩縛一點興趣也沒有。我聽得失落，彷彿世界已經完結。我也曾自認將不再碰繩。對 SM 圈，對繩，沒想到我們將生出這樣愛恨交織的矛盾情緒。

但，終究，她給了我很多很多。

* * *

「最後一次囉。這次拍完，你能滿意嗎？」拍照前，Akaneko 這麼對我說。這是 2010 年，在台北。我照著既定的步調進行。地板、站立、抬腿、吊起….

我把她的下半身拉高。還希望能換一個姿勢，但 Akaneko 的身體似乎已經無法負荷了。

乍看之下嶄新的紅繩其實是一直陪我們練習的同一組，來台灣之後染色的。繩頭已經磨損，再用下去恐有安全疑慮了。我原打算用完這次，就讓它們休息。突然領悟，對 Akaneko 來說，這也是一種耗損。該讓她休息了。

Franco 捕捉到了很多珍貴的瞬間。這是一次很成功的攝影。

完成了。送 Franco 離開後，我抱著 Akaneko，感謝她。

有些事情，好像也可以放下了。

同步刊載於皮繩愉虐邦。

Also published onBDSM.TW。